Thursday, October 28, 2004 

on yoga, dementia, and spam

did yoga yesterday after a week-long absence. best session yet I must admit. methinks a couple a factors contributed to peak in "form": 1. sahara-like conditions (plus humidity). for some reason, the studio was the warmest I've ever experianced....something about the class being jammed and heater being blasted. 2. went shirtless. less figiting. figured that there were worse phenotypes around for me to feel comfortable doing it. BUT I do apologise if I've left any of you mentally scared (ahem, Steph...Meliss....) 3. felt good from the morning's gym session 4. just felt more "bendy" ; )

yoga usually leaves me in a relaxed/refreshed disposition but this wasn't the case yesterday. sure a sense of relaxation was there...but whao, I had all sorts of pent-up something after. I dunno....its hard to explain. gave sarah a hand with packing after and lemme say, it was definately hard to maintain a unified personality. (why the hell do people hang out with me, myself, and I?)

still felt wonky this morning until I settled down, had a coffee, half a cig, and hunkered down to work. ahhh, ze thesis, the bitch from hell that won't go away....sorta like a co-dependant girlfriend. at any rate.....the solicitation of volunteers from my main sample begins. I've gone into classrooms and fired off mass emails so far. I must admit, spam seems to be working the best! and I don't mean luncheon meat....though, man do I love luncheon meat. k, so....this is going to occupy my time for the next while or so.

boon out.

Monday, October 25, 2004 

selamat hari raya (well, almost)

got invited to this dinner party at Leyuze's last also happened to be a TSA (Turkish Student's Association) event. it was....interesting in a "I've seen this before" sorta way. lets see....a lot of them were fasting coz of ramadan (in October? I remember when it used to eb in feb) and were using this dinner as quite literally, breakfast, the grub looked halal enough, there was loads of tea, music played was reminicent of RTM 1 variety show music circa 1987, and finally.....flavoured tobacco. I was in Malaysia, but more specifically, in a Malay household. but replace the Malays with Turks. and even that, they kinda looked like the "whiter-looking" Malays. quite bizarre. err...moderate Muslims of the world unite?

ANYWAY. I had a good time. the people were, and quite literally, very nice. no pretentiousness going on. which is a huge breath of fresh air. it prolly had something to do with the fact that pretty much everyone was an international student. we are bound by a common hate of long plane rides (and airports), yearning for homecooking, and ironically enough, intolerance for intolerant/ignorant ppl. and also, one of the VERY few times hailing from a muslim country is met with indifference. at any rate, I walked out of there wired from the tea, a member of the TSA (I know....wha?), and with some new music. not before long , I'm going to have a sizable collection of Leyuze's CDs. poor thing had to go the emergency last night...fell better lassy : )

as I was walking home, I noticed the dark silouette of a hooded character creeping closer to my front door and towards me.....thoughts at the time:1. run inside. 2. stay and fight. 3. pretend to talk on my handphone ; ) alas, the hood came was Sarah. she brought over a movie. I had never seen her in her "hopi indian, thief-esque (as in the game)" poncho before, hence....the weird reaction. in retrospect, it looked quite alright actually. I know, I'm a wuss...a wuss who scowls a lot at least. ok, to the movie. it was Elephant. brilliantly made film about a day in the life of a student who commits a high school shooting. very surreal what with the classical music in the background. check it out.

the rest of the weekend was alright. I've gotten into the habit of sitting in my tub, drink in hand, and listening to jazz. last disc listened: Branford Marsalis. what else? Sarah popped by after work one night, chilled over some wine....went to meet Steph and Meliss at Kool's for some "skater" thing. Brock and co. were also supposed to be there but methinks they pulled the shoot. knowing the likes of stock brokers, they ususally start drinking at noon on Fridays. which means that by the time 9pm comes around, well, y'know. and.... that's all she wrote.

oh semi-good news. I miraculously managed to talk to someone at Immigration Canada and they confirmed that my application is being processed and that I could remain in the country under the same stipulations even past the expiration date til I hear back from them. whew! I still think they're spastic retards though.*rolls eyes and twiddles thumbs*


Friday, October 22, 2004 

I got nothing

I'm kinda sorta freaking out coz my student visa is taking a helluva long time to reach me. plus it doesn't help that the lazy fuckers in the gov offices are striking. whoever said unions have a place in the 21st century is high on cocaine-laced crap. I mean, they have the comfiest jobs with the best benefits out there.....mind you, the pay isn't top notch but they should be glad that someone's willing to give them that much for doing jack all. spastic retards.

here's the ironic part, I used to belong to the same union when I was a teaching assistant. I really don't see the system working working well what with such a vulgar irony on our hands. spastic retards.

hopefully, I get it in time...otherwise, hah, I'm leaving on a jet plane. here's another irony.....I'm more Canadian than half the country....well, at least the taxi drivers. spastic retards.


Tuesday, October 19, 2004 

don't worry, no baby seals have been skewered.....yet.

trying to get back into the loop though I'm still kinda loopy. three cheers to the perceptiveness of the surrounding humans who've noticed the storm cloud following my every step. don't step too close though, you might notice bits of dead kitten in my hair ; )

truth be told, feeling a tad bit better...either that or repression is weilding its magic again. plus, I can't really mope around for too long. something about becomming dissatisfied with moping enough to allow for repression to present itself as a feasible alternative. mental engineering is grand. a homicidal rampage seems imminent enough though.

watched a few good movies this weekend. first, "enternal sunshine of the spotless mind". I shall refrain from provding a review coz we all know how people get when they've watched it and hear that someone else in the group had just seen it. its goes something like this "OH MY GOD, *fans self* yada yada yada..." at any rate....splendid flick. don't let Jim Carey being the lead throw you off....he's brilliant.

second one, "smiling fish and goat on fire". this one won an award at the Toronto Film festival last year. its the story about the trails and tribulations of these two brothers in California. interesting characters, found some congruence with them and people in my life. get this, it cost only US$40,000 to make. in a time where actors are being paid 20 million per movie, its good to know that there's some integrity in the industry. oh...and get this....Marty Scrosese did this one.

watched a London Knights ice hockey game at the arena. went with Tom, Liish, Sue(my yoga instructor), and Stacey(Tom's buddy). good thing it was paid for or I wouldn't have gone. truth be told, it was a good night out. the game was good and it provided for some good people watching a assure you.

anyway, gotta get back to work.

here're a few point to ponder:

have you ever found yourself in a room in your house and can't really remember why you're there in the first place?

have you found yourself speaking to yourself until someone walks in and you try to make it look like you're just singing? just that there's no way someone's going to believe that there's a song called "I wonder if she thinks I'm a putz?"

...and fade to black.


Friday, October 15, 2004 

not the best of days I assure you.....

currently listening to "Out of the Blue" from The Band's "Last Waltz". such a poignantly heartrending ballad. perfect for such a day. its bloody gloomy, raining, and I'm in somewhat of a petulant disposition. speaking of which, haven't been feeling entirely settled or content with the nature of things for close to 2 weeks now.

Its the same old mental afflictions I can assure you (look for it in the back posts if you're interested). hmm, maybe I should make better decisions in life pertaining to how I digest what certain people say and my subsequent reaction. might be spreading myself too thin and putting too much investment into trivial pursuits. never been one to make rational decisions/priorities.....think its hightime I do. and also, I loathe the fact that anyone can pretty much guilt me into anything. I mean, on the one hand, it can be contrued as a some warped form of generostiy, but really....I'm begining to view it as being relatively spineless.

so....conclusions and implications. who knows? but something's going to give.

updates to follow ; )



Wednesday, October 13, 2004 


been in somewhat of a wonky mood of late. I know this because I've been losing sleep despite being bloody exhausted. take for instance yesterday, had a punishing game of squash with Dr G during which I had my ass handed to me....again. though in my defence, the games are pretty close these days. methinks I just lack the concentration to actually finish off sets. but then again, lets examine why I play the game shall we? thought about it for a moment after losing the 3rd consecutive close game and came to the conclusion that half the reason why I play so hard is to get some cardio in my workout routine but interestingly enough, the other half has to do with tha certain cathartic aspect of the game. be it winning the point or violently (and I mean VIOLENTLY) acting out when I lose a point. hmm, come to think of it, I sometimes prefer "losing" points as releasing pent up agression feels hella good. hey, if the racket didn't lose chips and I don't have a sore throat, its not worth it. I know, its crazy, but its MY deal with it.

as an aside, I don't think I've been this physically active since secondary school what with doing something at least 5 days a week (most times more). pfft, all I know is that this routine is horrible for my smoking habit.

I digress....

anyway, back to lack of sleep. so I was feeling quite bloody dreary after dinner. so I thought, hey, watch some TV and go have one of my wierd dreams(a homicidal cookie monster chasing me through a maze of ivy after I've had surgery, sorta wierd) right? not quite. couldn't for the life of me fall asleep for more than 45 min....all night! this has been going on for the past few days now. might have something to do with the fact that there's been a lot on my mind. doesn't really help that it feels like I'm spiraling down the (well-travelled) road of self-loathing....again. its lame how I over-analyze even the most insignificant and miniscule things. hmmm, if only I were a simpleton. that would be grand....u know what they say "ignorance is bliss". ignorance sounds pretty good right now.

k, enough of this, I gotta get some work done.


Monday, October 11, 2004 

what's wrong with KFC for thanksgiving dinner?

its been a pretty solitary thanksgiving I must confess what with my social circle being away on family obligations. so.... spent most of me time pacing around trying not to get cabin fever. u might ask "why don't you put in some thesis hours?" thought about it.....though I just can't seem to physically bring myself to do work on weekends. someone told me a long time ago to treat grad school like I job where you put in a set number of hours during the week and unwind during the weekend. so, that's pretty much how I've approached it EXCEPT that

1. I've never had a 9-5 job in my life. hey, as long as the hours are put in I'm happy. but don't people also pretend to do work in real jobs??
2. I unwind like a sophomoric frat boy. hmmm, I don't really drink beer all that much anymore but've kinda replaced it with wine. the scotch is still much of a staple tough ; )

a very "intelligent" man once said "wine is dangerously easy to drink. it's like drinking old Gatorade, but instead of refreshing you it makes you drunk and randy."

so a note to the female of the species: if you're around when I've been drinking wine and have made the carnal error of engaging in conversation with me, my behaviour will probably fail to mimick that of a fine upstanding gentleman. consider yourself other words, just run. even when I'm sober, running is good rule of thumb to embrace. I'm just wierd like that.....

I digress.....

back to the weekend.....

points of interest:

-there was a gathering at my brother's place on Saturday where food and drinks were had. most of the people there were mates of his from his department. good on with them quite well (I think-we had a lot to drink). at any rate, hwa and myself got into a whole bunch of family related gossip.....the best form of gossip in my opinion.

-did yoga this morning with Liish.

and that's it. getting back to the grind tomorrow.


p.s. RIP Superman.

Sunday, October 10, 2004 

the plot thickens.....

I've come to the stark realization that my mommy dearest has been reading my blog for months now........all I can say is, " Hello!!!!" ....... and....... "sorry your son is so messed up"......I didn't intend for me to end up this way ; )


Saturday, October 09, 2004 

no its not dirt, I'm growing a moustach

yes yes, I AM that bored.

this was contrived on Thursday evening with Emil......only because its funny when asians try to grow facial hair ; ) I'm thinking of fahioning a Three Musketeers sorta swashbuckling do.....

Thursday was pretty good. I was supposed to have dinner with Melissa but that plan sorta fell through the cracks. fortunately enough, I got a call from Emil and Emma inviting me to go check out the von bondies at the Office. they definately rocked a good show....they played hard, good sound, good stage presence. ironically enough, the headliner (Auf De Maur?) who was led by the bassist from Hole, kinda dissapointed. we weren't around to check out the first band but from the demo I got, the Peels sound pretty good as well.

stopped over at the Pheonix for some comical value (Emma took some shots in jest for the Maxim Coor's Light search) en route to the Alex P. lets just say, drunken stupidity was attained. ran into Tina, Danielle(??) there....and yeah, we'll just let the stories filter out ; ) (hmm, it'll be nice to have someone freshen my memory of it as well).

ummm....Friday. uni, picked up some lost keys (sans cool keychain-bah!), bought some honey (I know, pretty random), and watched the US prez debate. I must admit, this bickering is most disconcerting. As Harry Truman once said , "All the president is, is a glorified public relations man who spends his time flattering, kissing, and kicking people to get them to do what they are supposed to do anyway." hmm, takes one to know one I guess ; )

nothing more to say but viva la moustach!


Thursday, October 07, 2004 


listening to Old Blue Eyes right now. god this cat's cool. who else says "Peru, in lama land...." with such charismatic swagger ; )

k, reason's for being awol:

1. busy with stats. kinda had to "re-learn" a whole bunch of things. haven't really applied my so-called knowledge of the discipline since undergrad. I mean, I've taken courses and such but we don't need to get into the distinction between theory and practice. good thing there's an ample number of gurus in the department...otherwise methinks I would be proverbially fucked up the proverbial goat ass. "proverbial".....I like that word ; ) its not as good as "inextricable" though.....

2. due to reason 1, I've really not done much of any significance, apart from my "exercises", and various "social breaks" (coffee with Melissa, breakfast with Liish, lunch with Walters and Kat, and dinner with Ted and Holly). btw, Ted had recently been granted a promotion! good on ya mate.

well, there IS this one thing. Sarah popped by a few days ago whilst I was barely dressed( don't really see the need to be fully dressed when I'm home) flipping between the US vice-presidential debate, sex in the city, and bloodsport. needless to say, I was a tad bit aggitated about putting on clothes ; ) anyway, we chilled out at the Alex P. for a bit over a spot of MASI (very nice valipocella that).

this is funny. the absent-minded lass that she is, later found out that she had locked herself out of her home. this meant 2 things, I was destined to have a "guest" over, and that we had to break into her place later the following day. good thing Duane was around to help as I'm not the most well-balanced individual on a ladder. picture this: a dark-skinned guy, dressed in dark clothes breaking into a girl's appartment. lots of room for, lets say....misinterpretations. hilarious! this still IS North America folks.

at any rate, I sent-off Sarah at the bus station today as she was Muskoka-bound for thanksgiving. ahh yess, the veiled celebration of colonial usurption of native land. pfft, on his deathbed, Columbus still proclaimed he had found India. hmm, imagine the pissed off Indian welcome party. (Subramaniam - by the jetty - pacing back and forth constantly checking his watch venting, "Chris, vhere the fack are you?")

as an aside, I must profess that Sarah and I have the worst case of any love/hate relationship (out of any relationship that I've had with any other human being) that I've ever experienced. very very peculiar I must admit. simple is good, I operate best under binary conditions. hey, chalk it up to the spice of life eh?

I hunger.....tis about time to forage for sustinance, and by forage I mean making a phonecall.


Monday, October 04, 2004 


don't really have much to say. same old normal crap I guess. thesis, gym, yoga, flirtations with alcoholism, dealing with repression (or more likely, letting repression deal with me), and all the stuff in between. the good news is that my physical ailments have more or less subsided. what's left is this lingering cough/raspy throat.

the weekend was alright. lets see. friday....friday....hmmm, apart from spending time at uni, I can't seem to recall for the life of me what I did. well, whatever it was, it couldn't have been that memorable. oh wait, yes yes.....I remember lots of TV, and spending a whole bunch of time on msn IM. yah...sorry, drawing a blank. anyone care to enlighten me?

Sat: crap, this is not going to be easy. k, I KNOW I did the Phoenix with Leyuze and co. as far as my Pheonix experiences are concerned (which btw are few and far between), it was fairly decent. but go figure, the busiest saturday of the year(homecomming weekend), I find myself in the busiest place in town. good thing I was nice and pissed....think hanging out with Leyuze for the most part made things easier to tolerate as well. you might ask, why go out in the first place? coz man....staying at home on a busy sat night is sad. real sad. what's worse is that I might've ended up drinking alone at home listening to Hootie and the Blowfish in my underwear.*whimper*

Sunday: ahh, this day I remember.....strictly because it was yesterday ; ) ....and also coz I did minimal amounts of things. gave liish a call to see if she wanted to go to yoga coz I was feeling weak from the illness and guilty from the drinking. we decided to do brunch at Oscar Taylors....damn, didn't know they served brunch. delicious stuff man. napped. did yoga. oh...Liish overslept and completely missed it btw. sucker.... anyway, I just lazed for the rest of the day. had a big ass soup for dinner. that's pretty much it. see, I told you it wasn't that eventful.

once again, sorry about the feeble brain power today. its a Joey Trebiani sorta day I'm afraid.


p.s. wait, there was lunch with Sarah somewhere in there. and....and....fuck I give up.

Friday, October 01, 2004 

if its noo sco-ish, its CRAP!

this is a HI RENA post. I've noticed that there has been an influx of hits from the UK and a simultaneous ceasing of hits from Sudbury......which only means one thing: the Europe section of the map has been lit up! well, I get the odd ones from Germany, Spain and Portugal but not enough I guess.....

anyway, raise some hell girl!

kate and rena:camping enroute to montreal
Originally uploaded by boonaroo.


p.s. don't come back with red-headed stepchildren. we all know the jokes.