Friday, July 30, 2004 

Purveyors of Death

just had lunch with Dave Walters...the prof I taught tuts for. young, funny guy, though at times one gets the sense that he's out to lunch. good bloke though. anyway, he brought up this business "plan" with which he seemed relatively serious about....well, at least he didn't describe it in jest. here it is:

target market:
-terminally ill patients with life insurance
-they don't have anyone that they particularly want to give the money to(though I had issues with this because if you have life insurance, don't you have to assign a benefactor?)

the plan:
-say with a million dollar life insurance plan, we would give them $700,000 and give them the opportunity to go out with a bang and in exchange, make the company the benefactor of the policy. profit: $300,000.

his wife who's a pharmacist bloody freaked out on him.

what do you guys think? its wrought with moral landmines but in some warped sense, it makes rational sense. aren't they doing it already with some of these mortgage plans?

I digress.

work's been going slow this past week......methinks its a rut. feels like one. nevertheless, been doing work still, no matter how miniscule. went for a few drinks with Duane and Ciara last night at this "new" place called the Alex P. Keaten (yah I know....its Michael J. Fox's character in "Family Ties"). I like it. good conversation.

boon out.


Thursday, July 29, 2004 

"the difference between me and you....

....is that I'm not on fire" -some obscure album title of some obscure British band.

generated a few chuckles I must say.

hmmm, here's a point to ponder. is there any virtue to being "cool"? I mean, controlling for the consumer-whore variable. why is there such value, especially in our age group, lodged behind coolness?

well I guess we can state the obvious.....its a self-esteem thing. being told that one is cool inextricably brings about feelings of self efficacy. let's scratch the surface a little shall we? can the argument be made that its just simply an extention of socially desirable affirmation/attention from your fellow man/person (whoops, "womanists" might be reading)? so is that it? socially desirable affirmation of diversity and individuality? a wise man once said "we all want to be autonomous individuals, the problem is, we all end up wanting to be the same autonomous individual."

so then is "cool" dead? I don't think so. I don't think its something to be strived for. there may be something inherently wrong with generating a cool persona. what's worse are the suckers who eat up that generated persona.

the essence of cool HAS to lie in something more substantial.....to paraphrase the TOS, Steve McQueen never meant to be cool, though he always rode off in the sunset with the girl as the unwilling hero. he's cool. what about Thelma and Louise? they inspired an entire genration of women. they're cool. how about doing the most mundane things? when was the last time you told you're parents you loved them (well provided they didn't suck as parents-hmm, even then)? when was the last time you made someone else other than yourself feel good (not like that you filthy sods!)?

I digress.

so went out last night for a bit to celebrate Rena's successful defence. went for a few pints at the grad club, followed by dinner at the runt club. note to self, do not indulge in seafood when the ocean is a zillion miles away...even if its swordfish! plegh! went for a few more after that with the group.....should've went home. didn't feel the vibe.....espcially from this one slimey bloke who I can only describe as a disheveled version of Prince Harry with a handle bar moustach. though I must say that it was cool to meet the other guys.

went home, indulged in various forms of chocolate.

got up this morning freaking out thinking that I had left my wallet at the corner shop. as I succumbed to the prospect of being a dumbass, it hit me, it was in my other pants! yeap....dumbass. on me way to campus C called, we did breaky.

now write I must.

B.

Wednesday, July 28, 2004 

2 left.....

CONGRATULATIONS RENA!!! on the successful defence of her thesis (with minor revisions : ) ) its always good to see a compatriot complete a thesis for its an endeavour in which incompletion is a route soo easily and often taken. way to not the system beat you man!

now its left to Lauren and me(oh yah, Kate, she defends in a few days).....courage and preserverence don't fail me now!

any words of wisdom Bosh, Duane?!?

ummm, I don't really have much so say as nothing in life has inspired any rants lately.

b

Sunday, July 25, 2004 

the fantasy farm and more.

before I begin, I'd like to welome a new reader to the "head space". everyone give a warm welcome to Brock Ferguson Sr! we are actually in the company of adults here now, so proper manners folks ; ) feel free to leave a comment sometime will ya?

right, as stated previously, I was privy to Drew and Jane's wedding this weekend. also previously stated, I had my reservations about the event though I now stand corrected. without getting into too much detail, twas quite enjoyable. it was held at this place in Toronto called the "fantasy farm". the imagery conjured is admittedly not the most kosher but I can assure you that the venue and proceedings were quaint, unique and simultaneously classy. it was reminiscent of classy 70s wedding. at least that was my take on it. once again, I was glad that it wasn't drawn out but to the point and poignant. compliments.

one thing kinda struck me though.....it begain at 11 am and with the open bar, this meant that people started drinking then (whoohoo!!). after the proceedings at the "farm" was over (4ish) we headed to the Marriot downtown to change/shower/freshen up etc.... not a bad spot. oh before I forget, cheers to G for being gracious enough to accompany and not to mention tolertate the antics of yours truly. and also thanks to Ted and Holly for driving and splitting the hotel room which btw made for an interesting night ; ) ANYWAY, the "reception" (twas more like an informal afterparty) was held at this restraunt on the Danforth called Allen's. wicked grub, its what I can only describe as gourmet pub fare. good times, good food, good friends. the night digressed accordingly ; )

as for today, once we got back into town, there's was the little matter of Elle's first birthday party to attend to : )
I'm sure you've all experienced children's birthdays before....the dynamics were not much different with this one. though it must be added that Elle's so CUTE.

nuff said.

B.

p.s. the new "The Killers" album is fantastic! do take a gander.

Wednesday, July 21, 2004 

mmm, microwaved pasta and coronation liquid breakfast

embarrassingly enough, that has been my lunch on campus more often than not.....even worse, I find it rather tasty ; ) I usually have a protein bar as well but don't really fancy munching on clay today. sooo nutri-grain it is.

finally submitted my ethics board proposal today.....I can't recall how many pages it was but I was around 6 inches thick. speaking of "inches". being here for as long as I have has converted me into a user of the imperial system as opposed to the metric one. this is slightly odd as Canada is officially on the metric system. yah right, I can't remember the last time I heard someone say, "I'm 185 cm tall and weigh 85 kilos". ANYWAY, back to the proposal....the waiting game begins. they'll prolly take a month to review it and then tell me to change 3 words and then take another month to tell me that the 3 changed words are ok. ahh the wonders of beauracracy.

currently planted in the computer lab as per usual.  Kate's using my ipod. methinks she's quite enamoured by it....find it odd, me being the wannabe tech geek and all (that statement is so sad on so many levels). I must admit that her listening to my music is quite nerve racking. something about my music being very personal to me even though we have similar tastes. buddha bless my neuroses.  : )

speaking of ipods....my parents are going to get my brother one for his birthday/graduation gift. he's got his eyes on the brand new 3rd (mine's 2nd) generation 40G model. its sooo bloody nice yet sooo bloody expensive. try over to $750. for an mp3 player. though I must admit that I have thoroughly enjoyed my ipod and it was worth every penny. hah! yet another reason why macs are better.

anyway, before I start talking about bus speeds and protocols...

ciao.

B.


Tuesday, July 20, 2004 

this is getting old.

I have yet another wedding to attend this Saturday. This time its Drew....
 
I must confess, I really don't feel like going. Here are my reasons:
 
1. I find it pointless. The vast majority the weddings that I've attended have been compatriots of mine that have been seeing their significant other since the dawn of time. It is inevitable that they'd get hitched. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for the guy though.
 
2. The proceedings are mostly boring as hell. "I love you" this, "I love you" that, "thanks for comming, this day wouldn't be the same without you",  and so on.....you guys know the drill. I wouldn't put my friends through that if and when its my turn. We'd elope (sadly I don't see it happening-huge Chinese family and all). Its supposed to be between two people right?? why not have only 2 people there? I don't see the need to "show" others how much you lurve each other....oxymornic. We as others should have to be able to pick it up.
 
3. its never cheap for the attendees not to mention the hosts. nuff said.
 
*sigh* methinks its unavoidable though....seeing how I missed his bachelor party.
 
gouchy.
 
b
 
 

Monday, July 19, 2004 

rocking out with middle aged women

I found myself at a Rod Stewart concert yesterday....much to the chagrin of a few of my fellow compatriots. Its one of Gail's life-long dreams to watch him concert (oh but why?) and she needed company so I said "what the hell, why not". How many times are you present when someone fulfill's their life-long dream? ; ) To be honest, the show itself was better than I expected....I can always appreciate music when its played well. The backup was pretty solid and I mean, it was a safe performance with classic rock 'n roll and soul arrangements. Oh, and he had this segment where the stage was made to look like one from the "big band" era and he performed some classic lounge music. Dean Martin: yes, Frank Sinatra: defintely, Tony Bennet, check, but Rod Stewart? A bit daft I must say. Stick to the formula man. One thing did occur to me though, the bloke's had the same hair for over 30 years now. what's up with that?!?
 
Before the show we went over to the Tasting Room for a spot of dinner....always reliable grub. Afterwards, we figured we follow the crowd into Robinson Hall(meh, when in Rome) where *gasp*, *choke*, *wheez* we ran into Lisa, friend and accomplice of Tanya (aka BTT)!! In a nutshell, Lisa is a valley girl (she's a classic sorostitute, go figure)....on SPEED. After a very uncomfortable conversation with her hands freely roaming all over my back, Gail saw an opening to jetison from the situation....so we did. You know its bad when normally quiet and reserved Gail exclaims "She's Fucked!" several times. : )
 
Sat (I figure I reverse the chronological order today) : I was supposed to go to Drew's bachelor party in Toronto but I had an important meeting with Chuck. Damn, sorry buddy. Went to the gym....had a thesis meeting with Chuck. It went well this time round, praise is good coz I got my ass handed to me on a platter the last time. Hmmm, had this urge to relive my childhood, so I watched cartoons for the rest of the day(and also that I refuse to do work on weekends) : )  They have these remakes of cartoons from when I was a kid, (eg. Transformers, He-Man, Ninja Turtles) but its quite different. For one, the characters are more physically daunting. Secondly, you get the sense that its been dumbed-down. odd.... ANYWAY, got a call from C later in the evening..... hung out on her porch, drank beer, yakked about stuff. yeap, its what we do.
 
Fri: Was at uni during the day. Gail popped by around 9ish (hmmm, been spending a fair bit of time with her lately haven't we?), went over to Jim's birthday shindig at his (or should I say Sandy's) house. He turned 34. Brock and Ted were there too.....the festivities moved over to the Runt Club. and....that's that.
 
Thurs: Work during the day....had some food and a few at Kool's with C. She had her hair done by Jagoda. I think it looks good though I'm a proponent of short hair on girls.
 
As for today....back to the grind.
 
B.


Friday, July 16, 2004 

doing the right thing

I was entertaining a vast slough of thoughts as I lay in bed this morning pondering when I should arise from my psuedo slumber. It mostly revolved around the notion of being a good person and doing the right thing. I mean, we've all been told (at nauseam no less) that the "right", or "just" thing is/and should be inextricably subjective and contextual. Hmm, unless of course one subscibes to the archaic rigidity of "black and white" logic ; ) This line of questioning was spawned from the way in which I've interacted with people....mainly whether I've been completely truthful, hmm, that's not necessarily the right word as I'm not too sure that I've been untruthful.....let's try "fair" in the way in which I've approached a number of interactive situations.  
 
Lets state the obvious shall we? I know that I have to relinquish the remnants of being a spoilt brat. Speaking of which, is quite likely the cause of this line of self inquiry. What had begun with "that's it, I'm taking my ball and going home" has evolved into something a bit more interesting due to the complexities of my wants and more specifically, the nature of the "game". That being said, is it all that bad to want things? prolly not. I think its the manner in which one goes about acquiring those wants that I have issues with. No bloody surprise about that statement, however, is there really any purely altruistic act? prolly not. Maybe its a matter of degrees that we (and by we I mean me) have to address. It might be of the upmost importance that I refrain from "pouting" when things don't fall in place because let's face it, things will definately fall infavourably. More notably, in certain cases, refraining from masking this frustration into some form of "righteous" pretence. Pretence, being the operative word as there shouldn't be anything wrong with changing one's perspective on an unfavourable outcome.
 
But all things being said, this guilt stems from some of my actions in meaningful relations (yeap, you can pretty much guit me into anything). So yah, I guess there are somethings that can be indirectly construed as black or white. To quote one of my fav movies, "the Tao of Steve isn't about scoring with chicks man, its about being the best person you can be". Though I must say, scoring with chicks is pretty cool too ; ) 
 
I shall end with this quote from Ben Harper (I knew it! Harper always puts me in such moods : ) )
 
"silence is the loudest parting word you never say"
 
b
 
 
 

Thursday, July 15, 2004 

the mind of a teenage girl

I was doing some mindless surfing yesterday and I came across the movie review site of "the teenage textbook" (trailer included). I had NO idea they made a movie on the book that I remember reading when I was 12/13. hey, I figured, since becomming a teen was unavoidable, better be prepared huh? *sigh* I still haven't figured it out (but that's another story). Anyway, I decided to hop onto my cousin Annette's blog, she's sitting for her A-levels soon and is stressing out to say the least but here's a few snippets that made me laugh:

"well...sch starts on monday and i guess its going to be a mad rush from then on. abt 50 days to prelims, and 2 more months to A's?
no no, i think 3..aiya, i dont know. haha, shit. anyway..sigh. must study must study.

looking forward to sch because..
1) i get to lose some fats during PE
2) i get to see ap in sch everyday..assuming he turns up everyday.
3) the sooner sch starts, the sooner we are to A's the sooner it's going to be all over.

got to get out of here. mother is waiting to pick me up at the customs. have to leave flo's house now.
see u guys ard.


went jogging. did 30 sit ups and did 10 push ups.
legs really felt heavy while jogging. damn it. i dont want to be a gloria-look-alike in terms of body shape man. she has such an ugly body. imagine, her bums are so puffy she has to stick them out while walking.
btw, u guys do know i only bitch and gossip abt ppl i dont like right. that's excusable. haha, it's more meaningful and productive then simply gossipping abt ppl of little significance. at least i'm talking abt ppl i love to hate, so it evokes an e x t r e m e kind of feeling. rather than just people i know of little significance in my life and whom i am indifferent towards. yes. and so you see (PEY, SHEITING, AP..), i strongly disagree that i should be nicknamed "naughty naughty angmoh" (trans: caucasion-she's actually half and half). and if absolutely necessary, i insist on being addressed as "'Miss' naughty naughty angmoh", thank you very much."

heheh.... : )
I think to her, I'm the cousin who's way too old to be cool....sigh....how things have changed.

B.


Wednesday, July 14, 2004 

flowery mood, just bloody flowery

yeap, the doldrums have struck again. think its one of those days where all the things you rue just floods back in. really dunno what triggered it but I've got a got a thousand and one regrets having a bloody jamboree in my mental space. find it a little tough to be honest for as much as I need this like I need a hole in the head right now, hmmm...well...here's an analogy: if someone tells you not to think about the colour red, what do you think of? (I rest my case). I usually feel a little differently about the subject matter of the post right after its completed so we'll see if this works.

yyuck. : ( fuck, where's my muse?

oh yes, I have a bit to add to my day yesterday. I got a call from Rena last night to go out for a pitcher or three. Kate was there and Duane happened to saunter in a little later. coversation was quite varied, it ranged from Vietnam(that's where Kate collected data for her thesis) and Southeast Asia(the general vacinity in which yours truly hails from), to department politics/gossip (always fun), to mass media and manufacturing public consent (there were 3 Sociologists, what do you expect??). it was quite enjoyable.

as for today.....thesis....again....joy.

I need a hug.

b.


Tuesday, July 13, 2004 

a little tired, a little bored.

today's been fairly uneventful.....just spent a couple of hours in school filling out forms so I can get ethics board approval to do research on human subjects. which....is also known as permission to survey folks. don't get this, it seems like way too much trouble. get this, I've got over 100 pages to submit for this crap. stoopid hitler, stoopid nazi doctors, stoopid nuremberg. blarg.

wot else.....oh yah, had lunch with Dr Grabb. he's the guy that pretty much got me into graduate school. heheh, its good to shmooze. : ) in all honesty, he's a pretty cool guy, and I'm quite grateful. lunch was good, chatted about work, world war two, cars, chicks, then cars again ; )

wot else wot else. yes yes, had an msn conversation with Leyuze. I wonder how she's enjoying her new internship for the treasury of turkey/general secretariat of the european union (kinda cool ya?). meh, at least she's not bored out of her tree. ahh yes, all us international students can attest to the mind numbing boredom whislt spending the long break at home. I think the last trip home I managed to make the 11am reruns of the "wonder years" the hightlight of my day. I rawk!

ummm, yeap....really nothing else to say. someone call and give me drama ; )

B

Monday, July 12, 2004 

Wanted: cure for solipsism

I was privy to a horrid case of "world revolves around me" syndrome this past weekend. You know the modus operandi, taking random statements from group conversation and construing it as it being specifically directed at the person. Its called small-talk you goblock : ) In fact, methinks I'm going to stop it right here lest THIS becomes construed as something more than a fleeting rant. Pleh, some people just can't live without attention. I mean, attention is nice, but jeez, don't grovel for it....it makes one look cheap and more specifically, pathetic. Perhaps, one might even go so far as to say that in the event of idleness, one might even experiance withdrawal anxiety. Anyone know people like this?? or am I just one lucky sod? ; )

Apart from that irritant, the weekend was kinda cool.

Wed: It was Brock and Gail's birthdays and conveniantly enough for me, the two groups merged. I was planning to bounce back and forth if they didn't : ) Good times were had by all....messy, quite messy. Hmmm, this is to the people present, if you think you might have done something that would warrant blushes but aren't too sure whether you did it, YEAP it did happen! : ) The Boon doesn't forget such material. *maniacal laughter*

Fri: Sarah found her way to the computer lab, we did lunch. twas faintly satisfying....campus needs better food places in the summer. Went back to get more work done after. It got to the point where I had the urge to invert my clothes again and as I was in school, I decided, it would be best to go home. Plus hey, it was was past dinner time and I hungered.

Decided to take up an earlier option to go for drinks and grub with C....sooo off to the patio we went. nuff said. popped over to Ted's place around 10ish and drank with the boys and their married/pregnant significant others. the pregnant one didn't drink if you're wondering : ) midnight hit, and long story short, ended bak at exactly the same place I was before. what can I say, its a good joint. Sarah strolled in shortly after....apparently she got ditched by her friends. (joy....nothing like being a second string option) goodtimes nonetheless....the guys were in story-telling mode, and that's always good for a hoot.

Sat: felt ill....stayed in for the most part, tried to do work. I did get some dim sum with Duane though. lovely morsels I tell ya. we also went to watch "Farenheit 9/11". God bless Michael Moore. Wonder if they're showing it in Singapore/Malaysia. Seeing how political apathy and long-term-one-party-governments are rampant, I highly doubt it. check it out though, its GOOD.

Sun: Decided to walk down to the park to check out Sunfest what with it being across the road and all. Remember Earth Song in Hamilton Pat? Its kinda like that. pretty cool....no Malaysian booth though. The closest one was Indonesia. yah I know.....ugh, the country that supplies maids, corrupt tycoons, and badminton players. not unlike Malaysia actually, minus the maids. : ) Had some Jamaican grub for lunch.....and later on that day, grabbed some Nicaraguan for dinner (I know, not something you hear everyday). It was good though, rice, some sorta salad, roasted beef and what I can only descibe as goreng pisang (fried bananas). culinary cousins those Nicaraguans ; )

did some work after I got back. C called, we headed to the Keg for a spot of wine. had a bottle of this Californian chardonnay (Tellas something). quite good. anyway, spent most of the time analysing her boyfriend. felt more like gossip to me....but meh, it was alright. capped off the night at the Office.

and THAT'S the weekend....

b.

Wednesday, July 07, 2004 

"In 1968, I owned a business here and rent was $75/mth"

Walking down the street to a hair appointment in SOHO (more to come) and an old Italian man decided to spark a conversation with me. Ahh....NYC's full of characters.

Day 1:
I arose at approximately 7am no thanks to Gail *ahem* : ) (I had at least an hour and a half left to sleep) anyway, since I was up...time to pack. hopped onto the airport shuttle and off I went.

with it being Independence Day long-weekend and all, security was TIGHT to say the least. or as "Dubya" would say, "Dang Airbs". didn't really help my case what with my passport from a muslim country (aka citizen of the axis of evil). *stupid arabic words with star and crescent* anyway, they lifted my prints and took a few pics of my and sent me on my way. had to bite my tongue a few times....so many inappropriate jokes to make : ) and of course, you guys know that id-jokes/statements spill out of me like oil in Alaska.

got into Laguardia around 4pm. it was approx 5am after I got out. oh, btw, Laguardia is a DUMP, it looks like they haven't maintained it in 1969. Made it into Manhattan and into the Soho apartment. C was there, she looked exhausted from all the walking she did during the day. The pad was uber cool, it was all decked out in mid-century Eames furniture and lots of naked portraits of women : ) something tells me her uncle is sort of a perve....I mean erotic connoisseur. anyway, good mix of style and function. cool electronic gadgets too. guess how much rent was? for approx 750 sqr feet, USD 5000!! wicked neighbourhood though.....

C went to nap...and so I decided to hop onto the metro and check out the WTC cite. the subway by the way, is a scary place. the MRT in Singapore is heaven and more compared to this. with my luck, I took the wrong train and ended up what only looked like "little India"! I found out later that I had crossed the bridge into Queens....eek! retardation defines me. didn't feel like making anymore wrong turns so I cabbed it back to Soho...which by the way is such a hip village.

by this time, C had gotten up...we went for dinner round the block in this quaint little place. went back to the pad....started drinking. oh, on the way back, we walked pass a bunch of Japanese people (with the one mandatory white dude)-crooked teeth, funky clothes, good hair and all, having drinks outside a store. upon further inspection, we realised that it was a grand opening bash for a salon. long story short, sparked up a lively conversation, and I had been squeezed in next morning before it opened. got lucky there coz anywhere worth going in the city has a waiting period of at least 3 weeks. figured, its Soho...why not huh?

so drinks....drank a few at the apartment, gossiped, yada, yada, yada.... went to this place down the street called the "Spring Lounge". got PLASTERED....spoke in British accents.....yay! : )

Day 2:
ugh....the worst hangover I've ever had. pretty much felt very ill for the rest of the day. wine + gin + vodka + rye = mastadons stampeeding on your head. h..ad to g..get up for hair appointment (scowled at a sleeping C as I left). long story short, I now have Japanese hair. got compliments on Broadway and if you've ever been to Manhattan it very obvious that people don't really bat an eye for the next person, not even if the next person's a birthing mother. so that was kinda cool.

went shopping....nuff said.

got home at 7 and pretty much recouperated til lunchtime.....both of us were still very hungover.

Day 3: Independence day
you would never tell that it was the 4th of July. no real sense of patriotism. after lunch we mainly walked all over Lower Manhatten....WTC...City Hall....etc....

went to this pub called "Gatsby" back in Soho to watch the Euro cup finals. pretty cool place. it was your typical English pub with funky art deco accents. the crowd was good too.....no flag waiving, jersey wearing idiots(well, there WAS a Danish dude). and Greece? Champions of Europe? its hard to to burst out laughing.

went back....napped.

dinner followed in Little Italy, which was conveniantly enough 3 blocks away! dinner was....interesting. C had a near death scare: apparently procutto's beef but I told her that it was pork...hell that was what I was told. anyway, she freaked out. *nyuk nyuk*

went down to the river to watch the fireworks.....twas quite impressive. : )

went back....watched "jackass-the movie", slept.

Day 4:

I'm home. All in all....good trip, smog, killer cabs and all

b.